The Beginning of Our Journey: Part I

Hello!  Hope this post finds you well, and staying warm on this chilly day!
So I've decided to try out my hand at blogging...  it's a new thing for me, so bear with me as I figure it out!  It seems like a great way to update everyone about what's been going on in the life of our family.  We've had a lot of people interested in what's going on with Levi since he was born, so I thought I'd spend a bit of time every now and then and share some information with you.

Before I get ahead of myself though, maybe I should start at the beginning and explain a bit about what's been happening in the last few months!

In early March of last year, Ryan and I found out we were expecting our first child.  We were beyond thrilled, as we had been trying for a while.  We had come to the point where we were quite frustrated and questioning why we were being made to wait, but decided to trust God's timing.  Sure enough, God's timing was perfect as always!  My pregnancy couldn't have come at a better time, as we were just finalizing the sale of our house in the city and moving to a house in town that was more suited for raising a family.  Also, we learned that two of our best friends were also expecting and were due just weeks before us!  We were so excited to have friends to share this pregnancy and parenthood with!  It was definitely an answer to prayer and we began eagerly anticipating his or her arrival in October.  Telling our parents was definitely a highlight, as this would be the first grandchild on both sides of the family.  They were so excited for us, and I think they were looking forward to the arrival of this little one as much as we were!

We had several ultrasounds, and at each one it was amazing to see this little person growing inside me.  At our 20 week ultrasound, we could see individual fingers and toes and I was in awe of the miracle of this little life.  The tech showed us our baby's profile, and arms and legs and pointed out little hands and feet.  He gave us no indication that anything was wrong at our appointment and we left feeling blessed and ecstatic that everything was going smoothly.  Then, at my doctor's appointment after the 20 week ultrasound, my doctor told us that the ultrasound report stated that our baby would be born with a cleft lip.

And so began our unexpected journey.

After the initial shock of that statement, I had a million questions for her.  What exactly does that mean?  Is the palate affected?  How will this affect breastfeeding?  Why did this happen?
She tried to answer as many of my questions as she could, but also said there might be a chance that the diagnosis was incorrect.  She said, before we crossed any bridges, that we should go for another ultrasound when the baby was a bit bigger, so we could make sure that their diagnosis was correct.  So, we had to wait until week 30 for another ultrasound.  Those 10 weeks were pretty hard for me.  I struggled between feeling like the ultrasound tech must have made a mistake, and knowing that the diagnosis was probably correct.  I didn't know what or how to pray...  I asked God to heal our baby, I asked Him for the diagnosis to be wrong and for our baby to be fine, I asked for patience as we waited but also was angry that this had to happen at all.  I blamed myself for causing our baby to have a defect, even though no one knows for sure why cleft happens.  Over the weeks I was a mixture of emotions.  I was sad and angry that the joy of having a baby had been tainted by this news, but still hopeful that it was wrong, and happy that God had allowed us to be pregnant in the first place.  Ryan and I talked about it, and knew that whatever the outcome of the 30 week ultrasound was, we would be ok.  We had friends, family and God on our side, and we also had each other to lean on.  By the time our ultrasound came along, I had come to terms with whatever God had in store for us.  I had a feeling that the 20 week ultrasound was correct, and felt that I would be ok when we heard this confirmation with the 30 week report.

Sure enough, we had our 30 week ultrasound, and the tech was actually able to show us our baby's cleft lip.  This was formally confirmed with the following report at my doctor's appointment.  I was not angry or sad, and I felt prepared for this news.  I knew that God had this baby and us in his hand, and He would be with us as we raised this child.  So, with this confirmation, we came to terms that our baby would be born with a cleft, and continued to be excited for the day that we would meet our little one.  We asked for prayer from our family, friends and church and I know that their prayers and support helped us as we prepared for our little one's arrival.

Now, I am a person that likes to be prepared, so during the last few weeks of my pregnancy, I did as much research as I could about cleft lip.  At the time, we were told it would be unlikely that our baby would have a cleft palate too, but I researched that as well, just in case.  It turns out that Levi was born with both a cleft lip and palate after all, so I'm glad I felt prepared for that as well.  During my research, I learned that cleft lip / palate happens when the tissues of the baby's mouth aren't completely formed during the first few weeks of pregnancy.  There is no known reason as to why this occurs, but it is apparently one of the most common defects that babies are born with.  Cleft lip is more often on the left side of the mouth (which Levi's is) and is more commonly in males than females.  I found that interesting!  I learned that our baby would have to undergo plastic surgery to repair the lip at around 3-6 months of age, and again at around 1 year to repair the palate.  I learned that we would be meeting with several specialists after our baby's birth, to arrange surgery dates and to learn about how to care for a baby with cleft.  I discussed our baby's condition with several people at RUH, and asked many questions of nurses, and doctors.. anyone who would talk to me, really!  I wanted to be as prepared as possible for this little life that would be placed in our care.

Our son Levi was born on October 15, and we were beyond excited to welcome him into our lives!  He is such a little miracle and we fell in love with him immediately.  He was born with an incomplete cleft lip on the left (which means it does not extend all the way into the nostril), and a complete cleft of the hard and soft palate (which means there is a space in the roof of his mouth all the way back).  I was disappointed that he did end up having a cleft palate, as we were told he most likely wouldn't, but we were blessed to welcome our son into the world, and thanked God that he had a safe arrival.  I was glad I had researched as much as I had about cleft previous to his birth, but there was still so much information for us to learn.  We ended up spending two weeks in the hospital with him as we learned how to care for a newborn with cleft, but I will go into more detail about that in Part II!

Thanks for reading... hope you enjoyed learning a bit more about our little family!   I look forward to providing you with more updates about Levi and this unexpected journey that we are on.

Levi: 5 days old